


i wish, i wish, with all my heart

by teokkityun



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Kang Taehyun the Professional Yearner, M/M, Mutual Pining, New Year's Wishes, POINTING IN THE GOOD DIRECTION THIS TIME, Pining, lapslock / all in lower caps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28374729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teokkityun/pseuds/teokkityun
Summary: "it's the first day of the new year. you know, people say that if you watch the sunrise on the first day of the new year, and make a wish on it for what you want most in the coming year, that wish will come true.""this isn't a sunrise, hyuka.""i know," came the sheepish reply, "but we had school today. i couldn't do anything about that, could i? so i wanted to do the next best thing. with you."
Relationships: Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun
Kudos: 46





	i wish, i wish, with all my heart

"where are we going?"

"i said you'll see when we get there!"

taehyun looked down at his right arm, where gentle, slender fingers were wrapped tightly around his wrist, pulling him forward. as if he wouldn't follow of his own will otherwise. the boy in front of him didn't seem to be aware that taehyun would follow him to the ends of the earth any day, with or without an explanation. but that was okay, taehyun reasoned. it meant hyuka would keep holding onto his hand, anyway. 

the air around them was cold. the wind bit through every little gap between the layers of clothes taehyun had wrapped himself in. his cheeks and nose were going a little bit numb after having walked in the cold for almost twenty minutes since they left the train station, and whenever he exhaled, he watched with muted wonder as his breath wafted up into little white clouds and dissipated mere seconds later. the temperature had hit just below zero the night before, if the local weather station on TV was to be trusted, and the sun had done nothing to warm the ground over the course of the day. everything around them was cold. 

taehyun's wrist was warm, though. 

it was the kind of warmth that blossomed from the gentle touch of skin against skin, the kind of warmth that seeped slowly into his muscles and into his bones, and then spread throughout his entire body. heartbeat by heartbeat. step by step. breath by breath. 

huening kai was a little bit like air to him, after all. 

something he needed. something he couldn't go without. something that surrounded him, encompassed him, gave him life in its embrace. 

something that he was far too scared to try and catch, because nothing slips through your fingers quite as easily as air. 

taehyun shook his head. enough thoughts. no more thinking. not about this. not right now. then he looked up, and a familiar sign caught his eye.

"hyuka. it's the beach, isn't it? why are we going to the beach in the middle of winter?"

he was greeted with a long, thoughtful hum. 

"hyuka?"

he felt the hand around his wrist squeeze once. "we're almost there, hyunnie," he replied, "you'll see once we get there, i promise. trust me."

a huff of laughter escaped taehyun's lips. he looked down at their hands, and before he could give himself any time to overthink it, tugged his wrist backwards so that he could slip his hand into hyuka's. if kai had anything against it, he didn't show it. instead, he shifted his hand to interlace his fingers with taehyun's, and then held tighter. 

taehyun's cheeks didn't feel cold anymore.

when taehyun's sneakers finally crunched against soft, dry sand, a few minutes later, the sun was already hanging low in the sky. streaks of bright pink, orange, purple and yellow were stretching across a vast scape of periwinkle, and fluffy cotton clouds hung here and there. it was beautiful beyond description. the only thing keeping taehyun from being lost in his own wonder was the warm hand clasped around his, still pulling him forward. 

hyuka was bringing him up a small slope of sand and grass. taehyun recognised it; the beach lay just beyond, you had to climb up the sand hill and down the other side to get to the water. "almost there..." he heard kai huff out as they took their last steps up the slope, and finally came to a stop at the top of it. 

taehyun wanted to ask, but something told him to wait. he knew hyuka would explain himself eventually anyway. so he let his eyes wander a little longer. across the sight of an empty beach in winter, no footprints on the white sand, no sunbathers in bikinis and bermudas, no children screaming and building sandcastles and throwing water on each other. it was peaceful and quiet; not a soul to be seen. just taehyun. and just hyuka.

hyuka.

his eyes wandered to the boy beside him. 

taehyun wasn't short, he knew that, but kai somehow still managed to tower over him. it hadn't always like that; when they first met, taehyun had been the taller one. and then he'd watched as little petite huening kai outgrew him in height and stature, and suddenly he realised that he'd started having to tilt his head upwards to talk to him. 

perhaps, he mused, his affection for the other boy had grown together with his height. from something small - a little tug at his heart that felt just slightly more tender than the usual feeling of fondness he had towards his friends - to something big, bigger than him, something that overwhelmed him and made him feel a little bit small and lost but also-

safe. secure. surrounded. protected. he was scared, and not scared at the same time. he  _ felt _ so much that it made him feel like he was completely lost, and yet he knew that if he was going to get lost in any person, he would be safe so long as that person was huening kai. 

it was only when kai turned his sparkling eyes away from the sky and towards taehyun that taehyun realised he'd been staring at him for longer than he should have. but kai didn't seem to mind. his smile was gentle and kind and warm. almost as warm as the hand still clasping his. 

"taehyunnie," kai started, his breath billowing into little clouds that fluttered away in the wind as he spoke, "do you know why we're here?" taehyun tilted his head and shook it. "what day is it today, then?"

taehyun blinked. "january 1st?" he asked. hyuka beamed at him. "that's right," the taller boy answered, letting his gaze drift back towards the blazing sphere slowly setting over the sea, "it's the first day of the new year. you know, people say that if you watch the sunrise on the first day of the new year, and make a wish on it for what you want most in the coming year, that wish will come true."

"this isn't a sunrise, hyuka."

"i know," came the sheepish reply, "but we had school today. i couldn't do anything about that, could i? so i wanted to do the next best thing. with you."

the last two words came out of his mouth in a hurry, after a slight pause. almost as if they'd wanted to fall past his lips just as easily as every other word uttered before them had, but something had held them back momentarily, before they tumbled out anyway. 

taehyun decided he would try not to think about it.

"...with me?"

taehyun lied to himself about trying not to think about it.

huening kai was silent for a moment.

"yeah. with you."

there was silence for at least a minute after that. they simply stood there, on top of a hill of sand and grass, wind in their hair, hands still clasped together, watching as the sun met the horizon in the distance. taehyun wondered if kai could feel his heartbeat through his hand. he hoped not. 

"we should make our wishes now, shouldn't we? before the sun sets completely," taehyun said.

when he turned to look at hyuka, the boy was still staring into the distance. it was as if he hadn't heard him at all. he looked a little bit lost (taehyun would know), his eyes didn't seem to be focused on anything in particular, and he wondered what kai could possibly be thinking about so hard. "hyuka?" he tried again, and this time the younger boy did snap out of his thoughts, his lips momentarily forming a surprised little "o". kai turned to smile at him, and in that moment taehyun felt his breath catch in his throat. 

the sky was a kaleidoscope of pinks and purples and yellows and oranges and fading light, but light that was warm and syrupy and ethereal and when it fell upon kai's features, he looked even more like an angel than ever before. just like the sun, taehyun thought, he couldn't stare at huening kai like this for too long. otherwise, he might forget to breathe. 

god, his eyes really sparkled. like gems. 

"let's make our wishes, taehyunnie."

"okay."

taehyun turned to look at the sun. it had sunken halfway beneath the horizon already. 

_ "people say that if you watch the sunrise on the first day of the new year, and make a wish on it for what you want most in the coming year, that wish will come true." _

what he wanted the most, huh..?

what did he want the most?

if taehyun was going to be honest with himself, the answer was obvious. he just didn't want to admit it. if he was told to close his eyes and clear his mind, think of absolutely nothing at all, and then someone were to ask him to picture the one thing he wanted most in the world, he knew what the very first thing in his mind would be. 

brown hair. bright sparkling eyes. a slightly crooked nose. toothy grin. warm, gentle hands, a little bigger than his own. broad shoulders, more often than not clothed in hoodies. countless little beauty marks and freckles, here and there and everywhere like a constellation across skin. loud, raucous laughter. belly pats and stuffed toys. the colour yellow. hugs and cuddles and holding hands and taking naps and waking up tangled in each other's arms, feeling like nowhere else in the world feels quite as safe as when they are with each other. 

_ huening kai.  _

taehyun closed his eyes and made his wish. 

perhaps it was farfetched. perhaps it would never happen, whether he wished for it or not. perhaps these wishes just didn't come true anyway. perhaps a lot of things.

taehyun didn't really care for all of those perhapses. 

when he opened his eyes and turned to look at the boy to his right, he saw him do the exact same at the same time. they really were always in sync, taehyun thought.

"what did you wish for, taehyunnie?"

_ you. _

"a good year ahead," taehyun replied, "what about you?"

huening kai smiled at him, and taehyun felt the hand clasped around his squeeze tighter. 

"so did i."

  
  
  


_ (i wished for you too.) _

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always extremely appreciated👉👈💕


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